Unconscious Mating

Okay, so Valentine’s day is coming up and you have to figure out what do for that man or woman that you’ve been dating. What is enough and what is over-the-top? Err…
Sometimes when we are nervous about doing something wrong, we just stick our head in the sand and do nothing, thinking that it will all go away. You may think that Valentine’s day is no big deal but it might be important to your date and she may be looking at it as one way to know that you care.
So, I’ll make three tiers of suggestions here, depending upon the seriousness of your relationship. This will include some DO’s and DON’TS of gift buying, activities and cards for the big day of LOVE.
1) WHAT TO DO’s: Location/Activities

Dating a few months- Go to a romantic restaurant or cook him/her dinner by candlelight
Dating 6 months-Go to a romantic concert or go away together for the weekend
Serious or married- Do all of the above plus some other romantic surprises, like write her a poem or create a scavenger hunt for her with love notes. Be creative and put in some effort to show her (or him) how much they mean to you.
WHAT NOT TO DO: Location/Activities:
Dating a few months- Forget Valentine’s Day completely
Dating 6 months- Ask her what she wants to do and then show no enthusiasm for planning with her or being together that day
Serious or married- Hang out at home watching football and shout out, ‘Hey babe, Happy Valentine’s Day!’ But hopefully you KNEW that already…
2) WHAT TO DO’s: Gifts
Dating a few months- buy her beautiful flowers and chocolates (unless she is on diet)
Dating 6 months-a romantic piece of jewelry and mushy card saying how much she means to you.
Serious or married- Do all of the above plus something to create ongoing romance. For example, create IOU’s for massages or for future breakfasts in bed. Create a gift that keeps on giving!
WHAT NOT TO DO: Gifts:
Dating a few months- Don’t get her lingerie. She might get offended, especially if you have not slept with her yet. That, my friend, is a gift for YOU.
Dating 6 months- Get her wireless internet (like my husband once did) or a lamp because her place is too dark. Valentine’s Day gifts are normally best when romantic not practical. But I’m sure there are exceptions to this if you know her well.
Serious or married- Buy her an iron or vacuum cleaner because, you noticed the old one wasn’t working and you wanted to help her to help out!
Okay, moralizing is done, I know you’ll do great.  If you don’t like my suggestions at least this gives you a heads up that this year’s ‘DAY OF LOVE’ is coming and it gets you thinking about what you do want to do for it (next Sunday) and why it’s important (ladies, you’re welcome).

Lastly, things most women do not often like:
1. You forgetting Valentine’s Day completely
2. Them seeing you buy something last minute while you are shopping with them
3. Seeing you go out with someone else that night (even if it’s your same sex group of friends)
4. Feeling like they are your pal instead of your lover that day
5. Feeling like they care so much about you, but you don’t value or acknowledge  them.

So please, think it over and make the little effort that it takes to really brighten your date’s day on this upcoming Day of Love. You will both be happy that you did, and so will I.

My Best in Love,

Paulette
www.mydatingschool.com  

Author of ‘Dating from the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart’ published by Atria Books.