10 steps to create a dating action plan
Okay, so the holidays are approaching and before we know it it’ll be a new year. With just a few months before us, if you are not happy with your love life, maybe it’s time to do something about it, but what? Yes, it’s true that finding a great mate is not entirely under your control but it’s not always fate’s job either and there is plenty that you can do. My book, ‘Dating from the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart’ details a large list of ways that you can take action to find a great mate. Today we will just focus on one small but important step: creating your dating action plan. Here are 10 steps you can take to create and follow your dating action plan today:
1. Be Clear What You Want First: Before you go looking for your best mate, be clear what you want first. Create a list of 5 qualities you most want in a mate and clearly define how you will recognize them on dates.
2. Assess your deal breakers: Know what you will not accept in a mate: For example, no smokers, no men who don’t want kids, no philanderers etc. Everyone will have their own deal breakers. Being clear about what they are helps you to rule people out so you do not waste too much time with the wrong dates.
3. Consider getting online: For busy singles, online dating sites are a great way to round up dates and to search within your preferences. A lot of people are afraid to get online or think it is desperate but online dating is more popular than ever and there are lots of busy professional singles that find it to be an easy way to meet people. Remember, it isn’t enough to sign up and do a profile. You need to log on and contact some people on a regular basis so you get your money’s worth!
4. Tell Your Network: Let the people closest to you know that you are looking to meet someone and ask them to consider who they might introduce you to. This includes introductions at dinners, parties and blind dates.
5. Attend Singles Events-There are plenty of singles events in Manhattan. Google ‘dating events in NY’ or ‘singles events’ and then sign up and put those dates on your calendar so you know you are taking action.
6. Get a Dating Buddy-When you get lazy or depressed, it helps to have someone to keep you on track and oversee your commitment to take action on finding love. This can be a friend or a coach.
7. Examine your life map- Sometimes it helps to make a list of all the people you know, including coworkers, friends, family, fellow apartment dwellers, church parishioners, classmates etc. so you can think about what potential romantic prospects that you may be overlooking. Sometimes there are acquaintances who might already like you who you have not taken the time to get to know. This map also allows you to think about whom else in your circle might be able to introduce you to someone. So don’t be shy. Most people would only be too happy to make a great match for you if they know someone appropriate for you.
8. Make a specific commitment to Act: This one is important. You can make a list of possible ideas and be open to all of them but nothing will happen unless you DO SOMETHING. So put specific dates down on your calendar and commit to going to an event. If you need support, enlist another single friend to go with you.
9. Keep a dating journal: My book suggests a companion journal to track your progress with all the exercises and suggestions. When it comes specifically to your dating action plan, you can jot down which places were good spots to meet people, what you learned from that particular experience and what your challenges were and how you dealt with them.
10. Keep the Faith: It can feel frustrating when you feel that you are taking action, doing everything right and not getting the exact results that you want. This can be true in any endeavor including a job search, book proposal etc. It does not mean that you aren’t great! You just need to do your part to keep getting out there and stand for what you want to create. You can also try to learn from feedback as you go so you can improve on your journey.
Let us know how it goes!
My Best in Love,
Paulette
www.mydatingschool.com
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Author Bio:
Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist and author of ‘Dating From the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart’ published by Atria Books. She’s the Director of http://www.mydatingschool.com which offers coaching and classes in dating issues. She was a speaker at The Learning Annex for over two years and an expert on television shows such as the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and radio shows like ‘the Curtis Sliwa show’ on 77WABC. She has been quoted as a relationship expert in MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, ‘Seventeen, Complete Woman’ magazine and the NY Times.