Ten Ways to Meet Your Mate in 2009
I’m a great believer in taking action on your goals, even when it involves meeting a terrific mate. People often say that now that they are out of college, they do not know where to begin. It’s true that you are no longer surrounded with single people who have lots of free time. You now have to work and juggle roles of being a friend, daughter, worker etc. You need to keep up the active life that you created and be proactive about meeting someone new. So, to help you out I am offering a list of ten things you can try, some commonplace and others a bit more ‘out of the box:
1. Open your eyes to the people you see on a daily basis. Perhaps there’s a cute new neighbor you have not met, someone you’ve noticed in synagogue or a divorced parent at your child’s school. Be friendly and approachable. Introduce yourself and chat for a few minutes about something you have in common. If you want to take this idea even further, begin seeing all situations as an opportunity to meet someone new. You could have a short chat on the bus, subway, in a bookstore or on line in Starbucks. Remember, you never know how you will meet someone.
2- Try going viral and check out some on-line dating sites. Today there are a host of dating sites organized according to hobbies, educational backgrounds, pet lovers, religious affiliations etc. My book Dating From the Inside Out by Atria Books has a few pages of online dating resources where it shows you how to construct your online profile and get started.
3- Google singles events in your area like speed dating or singles dances and parties. You can go with another single friend or go by yourself. There will be other single people who go alone too. Be willing to smile and say hello. Offer your name and often people will help you out from there and strike up a conversation.
4- Circulate the idea that you want to get fixed up. In the old days this is how lots of people met, through introductions from family, friends and people who know you the best. Do not feel shy, if they have a good match they will be making two people they care about happy. What a good deed.
5- Participate in fun activities that you care about. You can visit the elderly with a group, take an acting class or go hiking with a group. For example, if you are a vegan, join a vegan group or website. This is a great way to meet like-minded people and some of them may be single.
6- If you want to be very brave, place a classified ad in your local paper describing yourself and what you most want in a mate and in a relationship. I know someone who had tried many things and met her mate this way. Some people read newspapers but do not go online.
7- Take a singles vacation. You can google this but there are many possibilities including singles cruises, singles tours and singles biking trips.
8- Throw a party where every body brings a person of the opposite sex who is single and in whom they are not romantically interested.
9. Get a dating coach who can help you take consistent action, work past your fears, learn from each date and remember why you are a great catch as you go through the dating process.
10. Consider getting a matchmaker who knows you and has a list of single men with whom she can match you. Make sure this is someone reputable and reasonable financially and check out references from past clients.
Let me know which one of these suggestions worked for you!
Happy Dating!
Bio: Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a psychologist and author of ‘Dating From the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart’ by Atria Books. She is the owner of My Dating School in Manhattan, http://www.mydatingschool.com and has a private practice in NYC. She also does dating coaching by phone internationally. She is a dating expert on television, radio and in print. She has been quoted in Seventeen, Glamour and Complete Woman. Contact her for workshops or media appearances at kpaulet@verizon.net