International Mail Order Bride Websites

Dear Paulette,

Thank you for the tremendous effort you put into the presentation the other night in NYC. I would like to know your view on international dating websites, for instance sites that put men in contact with available women from China or Japan? Have you gotten any success stories or other?

Thank you,
Looking

Hi,Thanks for your acknowledgment of my work, and for writing. 

Yours is a good question and the truth is I do not know a lot about it.  I have not had clients who used those sites.  The research shows that arranged marriages do as well or better than regular marriages.  I am not sure if it matters who does the ‘arranging’ ie family who knows you well or a website.  One could make an argument that if two people are honest and committed to work on a marriage then they could be successful regardless of the conditions in which they met.

Having said that, my personal preference is for people to meet over time, really get to know each other and to take responsibility for choosing their partner.  Marriage is a life long relationship so it is very important to be conscious of what you are creating together.  It might be difficult to know someone well through a website and there could ulterior motives for the marriage.  Again, I say this personally and with some caution.  Others may have had better experiences and hold a different view.  Ultimately, it is up to each person to decide what they believe about marriage and what is right for them.

Feel free to stay in communication and to let me know what you decide. 

My pleasure to meet you,

Paulette

 Dr. Sherman is the author of, ‘Dating From The Inside-Out: Using The Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart,’ being published by Atria Books in February 2008.  Director of ‘My Dating School’ www.mydatingschool.com in Manhattan, she offers classes in dating issues & coaching.  She is a monthly speaker at The Learning Annex, a dating expert on radio and television shows and has been quoted in publications such as ‘Glamour’ magazine.  Dr. Sherman is a Licensed Psychologist and a certified empowerment coach, specializing in helping clients date successfully, while facilitating insight.