How Long to Wait?

Ready or Not: When to say ‘I Do’

By: Dr. Paulette Sherman
Do you want to walk down the aisle but you keep trying to do it alone? If your boyfriends are terrific and gun shy, assume you’re terrific.  But, also decide if you embody the Dear Date Dr.,

I never know how long to wait before getting physical on a date.  What should I do?

Signed,

Confused

Dear Confused,

Defining what sex means to you will bring you clarity.  If you are someone who separates sex and love, then you are free to get physical without emotional expectation.  If you are someone who gets attached when things get physical, you need to carefully answer my question.  Does sex mean the guy should call you the next day, that you stay friends or that you love each other and get married?  Once you are clear about your answer, assess your relationship to determine if there is a match.  When you sleep with a guy and it means something different to him, don’t be mad.  It’s up to you to make your values and needs clear to yourself and him.  Then stand by them.

Dr. Sherman is the author of, ‘Dating From The Inside-Out: Using The Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart,’ being published by Atria Books in February 2008.  Director of ‘My Dating School’ www.mydatingschool.com in Manhattan, she offers classes in dating issues & coaching.  She is a monthly speaker at The Learning Annex, a dating expert on radio and television shows and has been quoted in publications such as ‘Glamour’ magazine.  Dr. Sherman is a Licensed Psychologist and a certified empowerment coach, specializing in helping clients date successfully, while facilitating insight.