7 Ways to a Great Date

7 Ways to a Great Date
By: Dr. Paulette Sherman

Are you tired of being alone?  You have been burned too many times and probably have a pretty great life with your job, family, friends and hobbies…right?  But what if you could have a partner too?  What if you were willing to face your fears and push beyond your dating obstacles?  If you open these 7 dating tips, you may be well on your way to having your first great date.
1. Review Your Negative Beliefs About Dating:
Take a piece of paper and write out every limiting belief that you have about dating and challenge it.  For example:

(limiting belief)  ‘Meeting ‘the One’ should happen naturally.’
(challenge)  ‘I have to work at school, finding a job and apartment, why not love?’

(limiting belief)  ‘It is only fun to date someone who is really right for you.’
(challenge)  ‘Meeting any new person can be fun with the right attitude.’
2. Figure Out How You Judge Yourself: 
Dating often makes us feel miserable because we judge ourselves the whole time.  You can hardly hear the other person because your mind chatter says, ‘If only I was thinner, I’d feel ready to date’ or ‘How can he like me if I know nothing about politics?’ Ask yourself why you are a good catch and begin to speak to yourself in a way that works. Everyone has things to work on … but there are so many wonderful things about you.  Why not concentrate on that?  It will help you stay present and positive.

3. Address Judgments that You Have About Your Date:
We often judge our date from the first minute: ‘Is he tall enough?  Is he husband material?’  Notice when you start to do this, take a deep breath and allow yourself to be present and open to learning something new. 

4. Observe Your Dating Expectations:
Observe how your dating expectations block you.  Do you drive yourself crazy when he doesn’t call the next day and instead calls in two?  Do you try to control every aspect of what he’ll do instead of letting the relationship unfold?  Notice when you do this and be willing to be surprised over time.

5. Develop a New Dating Context:
Most people consider dating a necessary misery.  If expectations create outcomes, why not expect to have fun?  Create a dating context that will serve you no matter what happens.  For example, ‘I will learn something valuable from every person I meet.’  Then make it your business to do so.

6. Date Outside Your Comfort Zone:
Do you think that you will meet ‘the One’ by accident?  Do you think that love should happen naturally?  It is uncomfortable to take risks to reveal yourself in new situations, but dating requires some adventure.  Perhaps you have gone to clubs but you have never tried Speed dating or online dating.  This year it is time to think ‘outside the box’ and to be willing to try at least 5 new approaches to your dating life.

7. Take a Lesson From Everyone You Meet:
Often people think that dating is a waste of time when they do not meet ‘Mr. or Mrs. Right.’  You never know why you meet someone.  A date could become a colleague, a friend, could teach you something about travel, business or yourself.  Think of the world as one large adventure, where you can learn and grow.  You are there anyway, so why not make the most of it?  If you are clear about this context, your dating will transform you, from the inside-out, no matter who you meet.

This article was written by Dr. Paulette Sherman is a licensed psychologist and certified Empowerment Coach, specializing in dating.  She is the Director and Founder of ‘My Dating School’ in Manhattan, which offers coaching and classes in dating at www.mydatingschool.com.  She is author to the upcoming book, ‘Dating From the Inside-Out: Using the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart’ which will be published by Atria Books in February 2008.
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